TMBT 2016 Part One: Ava's First Flight

The smell of McDs fills the air. I've kept my seat up as the passenger behind me has her tray down. I’m considerate like that, but she’s not. She’s been at it for a while now and has in fact, violated the 2nd rule of flight club: of what fast food one cannot consume within reasonable time, of said food one must share … with the passenger of the upright seat, no less. Like hash browns, lady. Gimme some.

Angela smells it too.

“Hey smelly!”

She checks Ava and this puzzles me.

“She might need a change.”

She's sniffing her now.

“Huh.”

“She’s made a poo la – wow, big one!”

After confirming that this is no McBreakfast, I feel it is time for a serious chat with my daughter.

“Sayang, the 1st rule of flight club is that you will NOT POOP for as long as we remain airborne.”

“The 1st rule of flight club, Papa, is that there are no rules. Not for me, anyways. I do what I want. Cos I’m 5.”

“5 months.”

“Same difference. Now clean me or I’ll make another.”

“Mmrghr.”

Operation Clean Baby On Board a Moving Plane is now underway.

“McDs? Seriously.”

“I’m hungry and confused.”

“You’re always confused.”

“Yeah, but imagine if I was always hungry.”

We both look at Ava and agree that two constantly hungry babies would be too much to handle.

Ava, incidentally, is on her last bottle and now smells like yoghurt. Yoplait, to be precise. I can sense my powers of smell returning although I do not share this with Angela (whose powers of ridicule appear to be intact at 38,000 feet). We decide to change her so I walk to the front of the cabin to enquire with the crewman on duty.

“Is there a changing area available? Y’know … for babies?”

I trace a baby in the air for emphasis.

“No sir!”

“So I guess I’ll just have to use the lavatory?”

“Yes sir!”

My subsequent investigation of the lavatory reveals a tiny room that is fairly clean and dry. Pulling the lid down over the seat cover creates an area just wide enough for a baby Ava’s size. Still, I have my doubts given her new-found abilities to roll LEFT-LEFT-AND-RIGHT within 3 seconds of landing on any hard surface.

I report my findings to Angela and despite our reservations, we are determined to clean Ava up. I have her in my arms and Angela’s got the changing bag. We can do this!

As soon he catches sight of mum and baby though, our crewman is through the door of the lavatory in a flash. He unlatches a heretofore hidden panel, which unfolds a changing table. Infinite combinations of LEFT-LEFT-RIGHT-RIGHT-LEFT lay before us.

“Huh.”

“And ma’am, please use this bag to dispose of the diaper.”

“Huh.”

Angela looks at me in disbelief, takes the bag, grabs Ava and disappears.

“Uhh.”

I look at our crewman and the touch screen panel on the wall and begin plotting my revenge. Ava and Angela however, reappear before I get to press Throw Especially Helpful Crewman Overboard. So we thank him and return to our seats.

Cradling Ava, I’m amazed at how far she’s come. Our little girl was born pre-term and spent the first 5 weeks of her life in an incubator. Sabah was the last thing on our minds back then. And here we are today - flying to the Land Below the Wind as a family. My mum, who's never been to Kota Kinabalu is also with us.

It’s our first holiday together and it’s going to be grand. Ava is handling the flight so well and I couldn’t be happier. There’s the small matter of an ultra-marathon to worry about but that can come later. For now, I am content.

Part Two: Last Year's Race